just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
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I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
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we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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