Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
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you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
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You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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