Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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