ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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