I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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