I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
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Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
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Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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