people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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