your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Damn victory sex feels great
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize