could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Someone signed my nipple.
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