i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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