I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
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The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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