we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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