We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
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She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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