I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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