On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize