I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize