apparently the secret to your success is patron
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize