I never want to see another naked old woman again.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize