Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize