i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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