He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize