i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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