Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
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Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
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I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize