Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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