thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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