Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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