So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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