What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize