2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize