She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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