New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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