how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
there is glitter all over my balls
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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