Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize