There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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