I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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