I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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