Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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