you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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