I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
why is half of my head shaved?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize