Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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