Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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