dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
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My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
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I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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