i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize