is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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