chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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