For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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