how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
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who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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