I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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