he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize