i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wish I could teleport
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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